hollywood billionaire

Chapter 363 I lost him

"...What?"

Countless question marks appeared on Madison's forehead.

"You heard that right. That gas station—it had grown legs of its own—comes looking for me."

Barbara glanced at Madison with a slight smile and continued her narrative.

"The next day, I left the hotel on time and headed to the airport. The moment I landed in Paris with my suitcase, everything seemed to be back to normal. I was still on the road, still living a city-by-day life, orderly and busy, It’s like he was never there.”

"Do you miss it? Maybe a little, but from the moment we kissed you, I was fully mentally prepared - it's just for one night, and I won't expect anything more."

"Then, the gas station came... No, Yi came to find you on his own?" Madison showed the momentum of never getting drunk again, raised her head and finished the remaining margarita, then filled herself up again. One cup.

The 375 ml On the Rock Margarita, with the joint efforts of Maddie and Barbie, had reached its bottom in less than twenty minutes.

"Drink less...drink less." Barbara hesitated for a moment, and finally spoke out her words of persuasion, "Although the degree is not high, but..."

"It's okay with me, I just don't drink, it's not that I can't drink." Madison waved his hand boldly, "Do you still want it?"

"I do not need……"

"I..." Barbara hesitated.

"How does it feel to regain something lost? Are you happy? Is it unbelievable? Do you want to jump into his arms immediately?"

That's it, let's talk.

Madison...is she a little out of control?
If you continue talking, will you directly hit my head with a wine bottle?
Barbara licked her lips and curled up quietly in the corner of the sofa on the left before continuing: "It was a week later that I saw him again. I finished my work in the mainland and returned to London for a bit of repair. Training and recovery there, waiting for the fashion week season. When I was in New York, life was a little more lively, because most of my model friends lived there, and there were often parties and events. But if it was in London, this situation was Much less, after all, the fashion industry’s distribution center in Europe is France, not the UK.”

"It seems that it was added."

"I wouldn't call it...a love movie." Barbara subconsciously pressed her toes under her body, for fear of showing any weakness in front of the increasingly resentful Madison, "It's just a pure coincidence. "

"I'll bring over two more bottles."

It wasn't time for a hangover yet, but Maddie felt like her head was going to explode. She pressed her forehead hard, shook her head, and let out a low grunt in her throat. Then she put one hand on the sofa and leaned towards Barbara.

"What a coincidence... It sounds like something that would only happen in a love movie."

"Why give up? I think this metaphor is quite good." Madison gritted his teeth. The mixed alcohol in the cup was instantly reduced by half. Then it was filled again. The color became darker and darker, and the proportion of whiskey became higher and higher. "This is the second time you see a gas station. Is the tank empty? How long have you been parked in the past? Have you refueled?"

"But I like this feeling. After staying in front of the camera for a long time, I want to live like a hermit. Live a healthy life every day, exercise regularly, run in the morning, read in the afternoon, and go to the Waitrose near my home to buy some groceries at mealtime. Go back and do it yourself.”

"Uh, no..."

"That day, I was walking home after buying groceries as usual. As a result, when I reached the intersection where I was supposed to turn left, I suddenly heard a familiar American accent. I raised my head, and Yi was standing there, talking to Feiyamu Together. They wandered around London for hours, their phones running out of battery and naturally getting lost."

Madison added more Jack Daniels to her margarita glass and looked up at a stunned Barbara.

"continue……"

Madison stepped barefoot on the carpet, trotted all the way to the porch, grabbed two bottles of whiskey, bit the labels on the bottle caps with her mouth, and walked back smelling of alcohol.

"This is more romantic than coming to you at the gas station." Under the influence of alcohol, Madison's fox eyes narrowed to a frightening arc, his eyes were blurry and dangerous, "You slam on the accelerator and drive forward. , after running on the road for a week, I took a closer look at the roadside - the gas station has been relocated, and it is waiting for you in front."

"That damn gas station went straight to Paris to find you, didn't it?"

"It's time we let this metaphor go," Barbara suggested quietly.

"It's not what you think..."

"I have a question...if Feiyamu was with him, what would you do?"

"Madison, you're a little drunk."

Barbara put her hands on Madison's shoulders, who were getting closer to her, and reminded her in a soft but undeniable tone.

"The questions you're asking are a bit excessive and I don't feel comfortable... If you want to stop this topic, we can stop at any time, okay?"

"Yeah... it's a bit too much..." Madison's face was unusually red, and her eyes were so empty and unfocused that she couldn't focus at all.

"I'm really sorry. I went too far off the rails tonight. I never treat people...to strangers...to people I meet for the first time..."

Drunkness took over the brain faster than thinking. Maddie waved her arms in the air randomly, and her chest began to rise and fall violently. Her pursed mouth and eyebrows curved in another arc indicated that she was on the verge of crying.

"Hey, it's okay, it's okay..."

The other party's gaffe represented his overall victory, but Barbara was not happy at all. As she had repeatedly mentioned to Han Yi before, she did not want to hurt anyone because of this overly complicated and lengthy emotional game, especially the person in front of her who originally knew nothing about Han Yi's entanglements with others. He knows, the underage girl who worships and admires him wholeheartedly.

She is only seventeen years old.

Barbie, who was six years older than the other party, sighed deeply in her heart, and then gently took Maddie, who had just sobbed her first cry, into her arms.

"He dispelled everything that once enveloped me. He created everything I have now. I thought he was everything to me... I was ready, I was so well prepared, so ready, ready to be with him forever. Walking on, getting closer little by little, turning my best two worlds into two best worlds...I was obviously ready, but bang! Half an hour, only half an hour, I I lost him again, and I have nothing..."

"Is he so important in your heart?" Barbara patted Madison's back, comforting her carefully while asking uncontrollably her desire to explore.

"I have been facing a kind of hatred that is beyond my tolerance. Hatred, expectations, pressure, ridicule, belittling, it started when I was twelve years old. I am so tired, I am so tired... so tired .I try very hard, try very hard to be a role model, a good person. To help everyone in my own way, to spread love and... But my life is like a downward spiral, going down, down. …And I just can't take this shit anymore…”

Barbara could tell that the margarita and whiskey had completely taken over Madison's mind at this moment. She expressed her emotions incoherently. There was no basic logical chain between the two sentences, but every word that came out of her mouth was the truth.

"I was ready to give up, ready to give up the world, ready to give up everything I saw... But just when I was about to turn around and leave, he pulled me back... On that mountain he told I'm like, 'Hey, you don't have to feel good all the time because this is what life is like...you can just relax, sit back and enjoy the ride, and I'm going to help you.' All my life, I've been pulled along by people. People pushed me and ran by, but no one was willing to stop and wait for me and move forward with me. This feeling is so good... It's really good..."

"Do you know how much he trusts me? He filled in a paper towel at my house, at my mother's house...such a long list of numbers. Millions, millions. He felt that I was worth the money, that I I thought I could make it back...I was actually very scared at the time. I knew that the money in my hands was not money, it was debt. If I couldn't pay it back, I would never be able to pay it back in my lifetime..."

"He found me the best producer, made the best songs, and arranged everything. He wrote me a check for one million, but I couldn't spend it or use it up at all. He arranged everything for me... I didn't do well at first, I was very nervous and terrible, but he didn't blame me. Instead, he chased me out, walked with me for a long time, and talked a lot... He pointed Show me the Hollywood sign, sing with me, go crazy with me, shout for help... Hahaha, I laughed so hard at that moment that I couldn’t straighten my waist. I told myself at that time, this person is safe, he He won’t hurt you, he’s very nice. It’s okay to like him, he won’t cheat you or let you get hurt... This is what Pisces girls fear the most..."

"Later, he didn't disappoint me. He arranged for me to tour everywhere, follow Demi and Nick, and perform everywhere... At first, no one wanted to see me, and they all expected me to go there early... Well, they didn't boo me, but I I knew what they were thinking. However, gradually, I found that more and more people could sing with me. Several, dozens, hundreds. Later, they had my name and photo It was hung outside the gymnasium. They told me that I was number one, I was famous, my net worth was so high now, and many, many people wanted to sing with me... It was the first time in my life that I was number one... "

Madison's narrative is intermittent and topsy-turvy, but this does not prevent Barbara Pavin from piecing it together with Han Yi's version to form a complete and detailed first-person perspective picture.

"Look, I'm pretty good-looking. They all say I'm pretty and hot, but I actually know that I'm very ordinary... I'm good-looking. There are so many good-looking people, so what's so great about it? Is my singing good? , it sounds good, but it can’t compare to those real geniuses. My vocal range is not wide enough. I have tried very hard, but it still doesn’t work...talent doesn’t work. Performance, performance is even more of a problem. I stayed in Hollywood for five years, what? I can’t do anything well, I haven’t released an album, I haven’t done a tour, I get scolded for whatever songs I release, and people on the Internet are all giving me zero points... I work hard, I work hard! But what’s the use of working hard? ? I have long seen clearly that this world is not something you can get if you want it. If you don’t have it, you just don’t have it. Even if you try a thousand times, a million times, a trillion times, you still won’t have it..."

"So, he is really a miracle. He has everything. He obviously doesn't need to reach out to me... but he pulled me up, hugged me, put me on a chair, rinsed the mud out of me, and Everything he had was shared with me..."

Twenty minutes, four glasses of alcohol, and the alcohol content was getting higher and higher. For Madison Beer, it was far beyond the limit she could bear. She probably couldn't even hear the words she was mumbling clearly. Barbara, who was held tightly by her, could roughly understand what she wanted to express only by trying very hard to discern.

"He built me ​​and created me. Everything about me belongs to him, and I also want everything about me to belong to him. I know that he does not completely belong to me, but I am willing, slowly, a little bit Little by little, get to know him, get close to him, and go to the center of his life, even if it is just a small point in the middle, it is enough..."

"When I was performing today, I saw you... I saw you standing next to him. I suddenly felt very scared and impulsive. I thought I couldn't wait any longer. I had to do something. I got off the stage and went back to change clothes. room, he came to me as always, praised me, encouraged me, and brought me a gift that was so precious and precious... I kissed him, I sat on him, I took off my clothes, and I prepared Okay, I want to leave it to him, leave it all to him... But he pushed me away. He was obviously equally invested, but he just pushed me away. He said he liked you, and I asked him, between you and me, he Who do you like more, he..."

"He said he liked me?"

Barbara couldn't hear any change in her voice...at least not for Madison Bill, who was already so drunk.

"He likes you, obviously more than he likes me... He can't even say that he likes me more in front of me. He definitely likes you more..." Madison choked more frequently and sobbed louder, " I'm a very strong person...I've been through real shit in real life, real trauma, real...real shit, but like this...this would break anyone."

"It was clearly in my hand, but now it's slipped away..."

"I lost him, I lost him..."

"No, Madison...honey, you didn't lose him, not at all."

Barbara sniffed, and her hand that had been frozen in mid-air was placed on Madison's shoulder again.

"He didn't choose me, and I didn't choose him. Our ending has been decided a long time ago. It was negotiated together, you and I are willing."

"You're absolutely right, Madison. In London, I actually pulled into a gas station and filled up... a lot of gas. I couldn't resist the urge and devoured him completely, bit by bit. Not a drop is left.”

"But after I regained my senses, I thought of the most fatal problem - I can never indulge myself and continue to sink like this. He can be my romantic love, summer love or winter love, no matter which city I am in When I see him, I just want to be his lover who disappears under the sheets immediately, but he can never be a partner that I trust and trust. Because I have long seen that he still has someone he misses on the other side of the ocean. But... There is no way, I still have a little bit of luck in my heart, what if it is just a temporary trouble for him? What if he actually doesn’t have that many serious entanglements? It doesn’t hurt to ask, right? "

"So, in the small bar at the door of my home, I put this issue on the table in a joking and casual tone, as an insignificant bystander."

"And that was the first time I heard you, and the first time I heard...them."

(End of this chapter)